I probably wouldn’t get a whole lot of use out of this device. There are maybe two things that can actually make me angry in this world, one being video games and when I can’t beat them, and the other being when UNC plays Duke (Go Heels). If I’m ever in a location where I can’t scream and shout, then this vase could come in handy.

I’m not sure why whoever in Japan created this, decided to make it the color of your average plunger. On top of that, the device actually is shaped like a plunger, so the color doesn’t help. Instead of this thing pulling out monstrous obstructions in your toilet, it turns your yells and screams into whispers. It’s as simple as yelling in one end, and the other end will come out soft and smooth. So keep this device handy at your desk when your boss needs you to stay later, or when the kids are throwing cereal bowls against walls. You’ll have to import it from Japan, but I’d say it’s worth it (maybe not for $79).

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I knew it was only a matter of time before cigarettes became techno-fied. We can thank Robin Onlines, an eBay super store located in China. Apparently, they have devised a way to inhaling nicotine by means of an atomizing device, battery, inhaler, and liquid container. Instead of purchasing packs of cigarettes, you simply purchase packages of their container, thus streamlining the experience. The nicotine containers have various levels of nicotine, all the way down to having containers with no nicotine whatsoever.

The applications of such a device are limitless. The most obvious is using it as a form for quitting, but where’s the fun in that. You can use it as a means for fooling a very drunk person into thinking you have the only cigarette in the world that doesn’t burn as you smoke it. You can use the non-nicotine containers, and pull your e-Cigarette out at a restaurant. Then when the waiter tells you it’s a non-smoking establishment, you can tell him it’s just water vapor and blow smoke back in his face. For the kids with low self-esteem, you can use it as a way of fitting in with the cool kids at school who are smoking. The applications are limitless to your imagination. So get in on the eBay and start bidding now.

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Today marks a historical day in human history. Because on July 9th, we’ve finally taken a stand against the evils of static electricity. No more will metal door knobs send a jolt through our system. No more will jackasses with a humor for causing electric shock be able to laugh. Today is the day that the Static Electricity Eliminator (SEE) has been unveiled to the world.

Peter Gibbons from Office Space is smiling somewhere. He didn’t need to get rid of the door knob that shocked him every morning, all he needed was the SEE. The device is so simple, and cheap that I believe every household will eventually have one. When you’re walking along some carpet, or getting out of your car and think you have built up an electric charge; STOP! To avoid a brutal electric shock, all you need to do is pull out your SEE, and press it against something grounded to the floor. The device will let you know if you’re charge, and eliminate said charge to avoid the pain. The greatest thing about the device is that it’s affordable at $9.99.

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If there’s one thing in this world that the young or old can get behind, it’s bubblewrap. No matter how old you get, the satisfaction from popping the little plastic bits of air never gets old. I dare someone to pop bubblewrap and not have a smile on their face; I don’t think it can be done.

This is America, where our greatest strength is also our greatest weakness. Meaning, someone is now profiting off the love of bubblewrap we’ve grown accustomed to over the years. The profit comes by way of the Bubblewrap Calendar. The idea is so simple and genius, I’m surprised it wasn’t already in existence. It’s just a simple vertical or horizontal poster calendar where you pop each day as you come to it. I can imagine that everyday would start out fancy-free if it started with me getting to pop bubblewrap. The only problem is that the friggin’ thing costs $30 or $50 depending on if you get the limited edition or not.

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